Complete Ranting.

hi, my name's marxelle.

2008-02-07T13:10:23Z

i can't do this all on my own, no i know that i'm no superman....

hiii, i pulled an all nighter last night.... it was so that i could do homework, but i didn't do anything but watch old episodes of scrubs, use the internet on my wii, and watch saved by the bell and whatnot ALL from the comfort from my bed.

did you know that, they still run episodes of gulla gulla island? At 4:30 in the morning on Sprout if you have Comcast Digital Cable.. I didn't watch it for long, it annoyed because they were singing, about the parts of a car, and i didn't care for it, whatsoever... And I was trying to hide the fact that I was awake from my parents, by locking the door, closing, and every time i heard footsteps the tv would turn off. :] wellll, once 6:00 hit, i decided that it was time to "Get up" so i said hi to my mom, and got some food, and went back to my room and watched the Movie "ZOOM." the one where Tim Allen is a superhero who lost his powers blah blah blah and trained kids who have powers blah blah blah, they save a good guy gone villain back to good guy, and then everyone was happy. yayyyy. it was okay, i'm into the whole superhero thing so i really expected it to be better. i was angry that characters with cool powers weren't used to there full potential, and the common ones and lame ones were overused, like superstrength but the big difference that it was a six year old girl, woopde-doo. and then the fat kid who could expand his body like an airbag. and at the end, he was the soccer goalie and was blocking all the shots, and that pissed me off, because that's cheating. all he did was use his fat arms and fat legs and expanding them even more to block the ball.. rawr. that's dumbbb....

bernadette thinks i'm sick and twisted, i guess it's a step up from funny yet annoying, or was it annoying yet funny. regardless, i'm sick and twisted... woohoooo...

mmk. i'm in homeroom.. and i got to school at like 7:40.. and class starts.. in like 7 minutes.. and then i have Theater 2!. because i dropped trig like in October, and i never posted that.. then english, then algebra 2, then spanish 2, then gym 2, then biology, then wind ensemble, then honors us history 2.....

the day is just repetitive and i just want to go home.. i would totally cut today, if it weren't for the fact that ihave eleven absences and i'm negative 1 away from going to court.. woohoo!

screw the school and all it's glory.. i want.. ice creamm.. the end.

stranger alertttt

2008-02-01T13:48:34Z

**STRANGER ALERT**

January 29, 2008

Dear Parents/Guardians:

It has been documented that children of the Borough of Carteret have been approached by an African-American male wearing a dark colored jacket driving a Nissan SUV either dark blue or black. An officer of the Carteret Police Department will be speaking to high school and middle school students, and Administration and Staff will be speaking to elementary students regarding the additional precautionary measures students should take if confronted by a stranger. Parents are urged to speak to their children as well.

Student safety is a top priority for the Carteret Public Schools. All district schools follow strict safety and security procedures.

If you have any information regarding the incident or this individual, you should immediately contact the Carteret Police Department at 732-541-4181.

:o lock your doors kiddies!

i'm in digital imaging management blah blah blah...

2008-01-31T13:41:02Z

hiiii.... i'm currently in digital imaging blah blah blah... my teacher Mrs. Angelucci? has been absent for the second day in a row... i'm still considering dropping out of this class to back into Theater 2. Because, i feel like I should finish off the year right, with an elective finished..... know what i mean? Well, right now I'm sitting to the left of Deniseee, and to the right of this solitaire playing, butterfly making guy Max, he's pretty cool. Not that I talk to him. Anyway, I guess it's been forever since I updated... I guess it's because I don't really care much to talk about what's going on in my life... the most interesting thing that happened to me, was probably... i got a 66 on my algebra 2 midterm? haha, then he curbed? it 20 points.. WOOO FREE B!

This is the part of the journal where I get really deep. I asked Denise what my topic should be and she just told me to talk about solitaire. And I will get deep.

Solitaire

Every day I go to Digital Imaging Management, I feel really trapped. And it's like everyone's life is governed by two things at school when they are on the computer. They either go on the internet, or they play solitaire. What exactly does that mean? Is solitaire just a game to escape the stress of life or does it really just hide something that is bothering and on your mind? I'm probably reading to into it, but honestly, do you ever play solitaire and discover that it just overwhelms you when you win or lose? You either get the happy feeling you long for a completely frustrated feeling because you can't even win on 1 card draw. So what's the deal? What exactly is solitaire's goal? You put a bunch cards in "cardilogical" order and then a deck of cards dances around the screen. So, is solitaire a useless waste of time? Or a fun way to deal with stress?

Think about it...

if i were in the brady bunch...

2007-12-07T04:54:42Z

if i were in the brady bunch, i swear to god i'd be better than greg.. freaking white piece of trash...

i'm procrastinating... at 11:49.. or whatever time it is.. it's just crazy..

i'm going to just blast different crap into this, so feel free to be confused..

i think i like ten people... fudge...

i wanna be able to finish a project.. that i started not one that was given to me...

i hate life and all it's crazy surprises...

so i freaking hate it when i have to deal with stupid people....

i swear, one day, i will rule the world, and everyone's going to regret fucking with me...

just kidding, i'm not some overly angstridden teenager who's going to kill himself, or kill anyone..

honestly, lately, i've come to notice that people are getting the wrong impression of me and i don't like it.. i hate being seen as "uh oh, hide the matches, because Marxelle's around.. put away the knives marxelle's around.." yet, everyone seems to understand that i'm this hardworking guy, with a laidback personality.. what the hell does that mean? i hate how people see me, it's just awkward, because then they expect either too much or too little of me, and it's confusing... i don't know, sometimes i feel like i wanna be invisible, so no one sees me, and i don't have to deal with the world, but then sometimes, i'd kill just to be heard...

i need to finish my screenplay....

sickdaysrock

2007-10-04T15:59:50Z

exhaustion is just another reason to keep moving...

:o today i took off.. i just didn't need the stress of school after last night.. i'm glad i worked hard last night, but... i almost passed out.. which isn't cool.. at all.. it's because covering THREE holes is freakiiing harddddddd.. that's even uncoolor... gee, i wish marching band season was over already.. :/ i want to keep doing it, but this is wayy to hard.. it wasn't like this last year....

uhm.. chris is coming over soon, and i'll probably repost later and recap why i'm going to be mad.. :] because everyone knows i'm going to get mad today.. because i get mad everyday.. that's what sophomore year is all about..

i'mafreakingbeast.

2007-10-01T02:17:39Z

let's talk relationship...

I have extremely mixed feelings right now... Uhm, I'm in such an awkward position...

But let's start off with my day. So I'm gonna break it down...

Marxelle Versus Westfield
So, I was asked politely to go to this "Westfield" I've heard so much about... I went with Chris (The Godfather), Marites (The Toggaf), Caroline (The Mistress), and OTHER Chris (The Guy In My Algebra 2 Class). So It was really fun.. I had a blast.. We walked around Westfield, lots of racist jokes (by me) and lots of gun jokes (by me) and lots of just chillin.. I guess what I enjoyed was the new environment.. I didn't have to look over my shoulder every five seconds because everyone was just so mellow and chill. I guess not only was it the place, it was the people. I always have a good time with Marites, but I see Chris M. in a new perspective, because I don't see him often. It's nice to just chill with him and know that we're having a good time. With Caroline, it was just fun to see a different side of her. I know I'm friends with her, but the fact that we're on such a social level with eachother is what surprises me. It's like there are no barriers and no limits. And then there's the other Chris. It was just bizarre, I've never spoken to him in my entire life, but when caroline offered him my gum it was like we were friends... I just hope it wasn't one of those friends because you were there things, but whatever...

uhm, we went to the mall, and such.. i honestly don't feel like going into specifics, because things like that are better left between friends... however.. angry masturbation... 'nuff said...

Marxelle and Relationships
We don't mix well.. For some reason, I feel like I'm left out.. After seeing Chris and Caroline together, I gotta say I'm pretty jealous.. They have eachother, but what the hell do I have? a pillow to hug and a blanket to keep me warm.. woohoo.. my bed gets laid.. i'm so boring.. i think i need to change myself dramatically.. i gotta do something crazy...

blehhhh i want someone to want me to want them.

doyouever

2007-09-23T04:00:46Z

doyouever...

get that feeling that someone is watching you?
think that everyone's eyes are on you?
wonder if the world is judging your every step?

ehh.. that's me being crazy.. tonight.. at 11:50 PM. i feel incredibly excited..

today i was in jersey city with my sister. it was interesting, because i got to go to Marisa's apartment.. And then after that, my sister and i just hung out in her room, and then went to Target with jess. it's really interesting, hanging with older people.. they talk about such different things, that are really weird to hear from someone so close to you.. i must have heard the word sex a million times... it was really awkward.. but interesting..

i guess i'm just a little tired of dealing with such small problems with ignorant people.. it's like, in carteret, there's no possible way you can just state your opinion without it becoming a huge deal..

so, if i say something mean about you, and let the world see? get the fuckoverit. especially if you're older than me, god. don't pull upperclassmen bullshit, if you were really the "upperclassmen" you would have just disregarded my bullshit in the first place, and just let it go..

but that's in the past, and i could care less about any of the people involved or mentioned.. i'm definitely growing up, and even though i'm struggling to maintain my kid attitude, i'm definitely happy that i'm maturing...

lately, i've noticed that because of my constant immature attitude, people seem to brush me off and don't give me a second glance.. i've noticed, that when people explain me to other people it's always the same " oh, well, he's really immature, but when he knows he has to work, he'll get serious.." i'm kind of sick of it.. i hate being so predictable, that if i make a move, someone already knows what i'm going to do five steps ahead.. i'm bored with it too.. i want a way to let go of my personality, and move onto a brand new one. maybe for a week.. i'll attempt not being such an idiot, not fucking with people to the point where they get pissed. who knows? maybe i'll lose friends in the process.... but i'm scared to do it.. i'm really afraid, that if i succomb to what everyone else has done.. i'll the suffer the same effects of change.. and that is.. change. i don't know anymore.. i've constantly doubted the whole subject.. i don't think it's the fact that people change as to why we don't hang out anymore or are friends.. it's because i don't know how to handle it.. so.. if i change.. will my friends be able to handle it? what would i be? a white-washed, boring, over achieving shy guy? i don't even want to imagine it..

ugh, i wish i had someone who would give me the answers.. someone i'm not embarrassed to talk to about these kinds of things.. am i afraid to open up? or are people just that mean that they don't wanna hear it?

bwahahaha!!!

2007-09-19T19:37:12Z

already one day and i was MISQUOTED!!!!

hahaha! that's really funny.. people are mad at meee? first, if you heard that i was mad at you, you heard wrong.. because i said i was mad at anyone mentioned..

I slightly reconciled with Katrina, so that's fine... i guess..

but the fact that people are letting it get to them.. honestly, it's funny how darlene posted about me too.:::

Subject: i loveit Body: how people would put the time and effort into writing a blog talking shit about me. If you have the time and energy to sit down and write about me tuday and richie in ur lil blog then we must be some popular bitches. You writing shit about us doesn't hurt us but it makes us harder, better, faster, and stronger.

and by the way fuckin back marching the set wen ur guide is BEHIND YOU isn't the smartest idea... and yea i would be right too if i'm fuckin lookin at my feet the whole show

first off, you definitely did the same thing.. because you have the time and effort to sit back and write about me..

but whatever.. i honestly don't wanna fight about it.. i apologize for saying all the shit i said IN THE WAY I SAID IT, however I don't apologize for what i said.. i'm saying i could have said it in a polite manner, but i didn't and for that i apologize, but you can't sway my opinions..

ahem, i repeat: I APOLOGIZE, HOWEVER! IF YOU SAY THAT I APOLOGIZED FOR OTHER REASONS, that's messed up. PLEASE get your facts straight....

mmk, i'm going to go out for coffee, and go to marching band EXTRA EARLY, to make sure that no one is all, RAWR, you said THIS about me? because, no you're wrong.. mmk! byeee!!!

yo namedropping..

2007-09-19T02:44:32Z

;] yes, i'm name dropping... OBVIOUSLY.

no, tuday, darlene, and katrina you don't get the marcher of the year award.. ;] I'm not saying i'm perfect, but don't say you guys are smart marchers (tuday and darlene) when out of the fifty moving forward, you guys are staying in the spot you were placed.. how smart is that? NOT AT ALL. Now i looks ugly, good job for fucking it up..

richie? i honestly could care less if you were addressing me or not, but quit it with the "i'm a senior you're a sophomore" bullshit.. if they are fucking wrong, i'm going to call them out on it, and if someone yells at me and i yell at them back, you have no right to butt the fuck in saying you got backs. cuz bullshit, she was fucking wrong to yell at me when darlene asked what renee said. i was restating what she said, and katrina was telling me what i was saying was wrong. what the fuck, i don't care, she asked me what renee said, whether it's right or wrong DONT BUTT IN! get the fuck outta here with that... gosh..

sometimes, you people make me feel like i'm nothing, that's why i no longer give up on myself.. i lose faith in people.. so yeah, back the fuck up with your bullshit..

;] thanks for reading.. this is for what happened last night.. ;] yes i am mad at anyone mentioned minus renee. and hey, if one of you is reading it, oops.. idontreallycare.. go ahead and talk behind my back, tell everyone about it... but you better not fuck up the story and feed them bullshit, because i will fight back and give them what really fucking happened.. i honestly don't care anymore, because i don't NEED to deal with the marching band drama.. but i stay because i love doing it, and i'm not gonna let people with opinions to bring me down... and that's the end of that..

nighttt.

love is b-b-bullshit..

2007-09-09T03:35:20Z

ohmygosh.

... fireworks + me = lonely. i was surrounded by friends.. but not who I wanted to be surrounded by. don't get me wrong, i love my friends, but.. honestly.. i don't know what to think....

never_half_full @ 2007-09-04T01:14:00

2007-09-04T05:25:20Z

heartbreaakkkk...

i realize like five seconds ago.. that i just posted that goofy story, but i did that because i just didn't want to lose it.. i'm just doing some catching up, reading friend's livejournals.. reading away messages, and putting five and five together and getting 1000..

it's crazy, it's such a bad mood time.. idk.. i expected the last week of summer to be glorious.. like fireworks a blazing, children a dancing, and like music a playing.. but it's not.. i don't understand what's going on..

i guess i shouldn't expect much since it's carteret.. and i shouldn't expect a miracle..

blehhh, what's the point right? no one takes the time to read what happens to you in life, even if they do have access to your journal..

oh did i mention my schedule?

homeroom-jordan
trig- lozak
english-mendoza
alg2-lozak
span2-sampedro
gym-kelly
bio-simon
wind-rattface
honhistory-moccio

i'm satisfied.. nicole is in every class that she could be in with me.. i realized that because she's in all my reg. classes in stuff, it's funny.. not too crazy about my teachers, other than moccio and rattjew.. and sampedro of course..

everything else is too easy.. i realize that my thoughts are shifting, and if you're reading, you're probably lost and trying to figure out what i'm talking about..

today.. iwas in the car.. and i started to cry.. not out loud, or visibly. but mentally. i was stressed, so i cried.. i was thinking to hard, which is my biggest flaw.. i was thinking about me dying.. which is what i hate.. bleh, i'm getting choked up just thinking about it.. ithink i'm over my whole obsession with death. no more joking about it, or joking about suicide.. i'm done.. woo.. i feel better..

uhm.. heartbreak? not really.. i just feel unloved.. like, everyone has at least felt some type of love, whether itbe for five seconds five minutes. months or even years.. i've never experienced love.. i want to fall for someone.. like madly.. i'm floating on air.. past cloud nine type thing.. why can't i find that? it's HORRIBLEEE.. even if someone lied to me.. told me they loved me and kissed me so much passion that i fall down.. even if the next day, they toldme it was an accident.. at least i could say i experienced it.. i didn't really get a first kiss. it was an accident.. and i want a real one.. i want to be able to say, you were my first kiss.. and always will be.. i wanna say i love you and mean it.. i want it.. but... every time i've tried to find that person.. i'm taken down.. there was no i love you.. there was no kiss.. it was just.. no. whateverr...

i don't mean to upstage anyone.. or try and seek pity, because i really don't.. but when i read about everyone's problems.. it just gets to me.. it bites...

storytimeee

2007-09-04T05:10:37Z

"Chris, that weed was really good," said Marites.

"Yeah, but now I'm really hungry," replied her "intoxicated" brother.

"Yeah, me two, I've got the munchies..." The short filipina responded.

TEN MINUTE SILENCE.

"I want some steak.." The eighteen year old chimed in, breaking the silence.

"Me two! Let's go to Charlie Brown's Steakhouse!" Exclaimed the younger teenager, equally under the influence.

The two siblings dashed out the door and into the TROOPER and sped off into the rainbow like sunset (they're high, so that's why it's rainbowy and that's why the sun is setting so late..)

They were never heard from again... DUN DUN DUNNN!

THE END!

:] Don't smoke and drive kids!!!

;] that was stupid, but it was really funny to writee... :DD no offense chris and marii!

you're cooler when you bleed.

2007-08-27T01:08:41Z

stop spelling "fuck", "fcuk" because that only proves that not only are you not mature enough to say the actual word, but also that you are illiterate.

unfortunately, that's not what's bothering me. unfortunately i don't understand why i am in fact angry. and unfortunately i don't understand what there is to understand.

if only life were so easy that in the blink of an eye you could go from sad to happy and understand the meaning of life and all the joy that does or doesn't come with it. i wanna understand so much, but i'm limited to the one life i have to live.

every day i wonder.. what happens after i die.. do i rewind my life become a completely new person, and no nothing of my past life, and am forced to relive my life in a completely new way? or am i pushed to live in either the eternal pits of hell or the glorious gates of heaven?

life makes me think, but what i wanna do is just live. why can't i just live life without thinking. be spontaneous. spur of the moment?

people are such geniouses.. they don't even understand what it's like to be just there..

and your best fucking friend is a watermelon, SLUT. < not really serious, but what else am i supposed to say when i don't know what's going on? I only know mindless rambles...

whatever...

iwannaspeak

2007-08-13T03:34:58Z

i wanna speak my mind without being interrupted or unheard.

i'm tiired of bullshit and drama.. and the fact of the matter is, it's not even coming from the mouths of carteret slookers and huts.. the simple fact is that in my mind, so many crazy thoughts are racing that are causing me to see the truth..

that is, that like many other occasions.. life is changing.. people are changing.. and i can't bear it. it's way too much this time.. it's easier to deal with when it's someone who's a friend, ora best friend and you both mutually distance yourselves.. but when one person becomes completely different, it's mindboggling how hard a blow that really is..

i feel as though myheart's been ripped out and stepped on.. i feel as though i've been run over five times yet the driver doesn't believe it's enough.. i feel as though thousands of pounds have been dropped on me, and no one's there to help me up..

my mixed emotions tear me apart inside and i don't know how i'm going to handle it.. i can't talk to the usual people, because i'm afraid of there answers.. i'm afraid that if i say what i want to say as to who's bothering me.. i'll be looked at differently.. people will talk behind my back, and when it comes back around my mind will wonder who said what to who, and before i can figure it out the knife will drop to the floor as red quickly follows..

i'm not so sure if music and words can keep me together anymore.. it's like being left speechless when there are more words to be said.. i want to say something.. i have to say something..
but to who?

and why? should i just deal with this change and act as if i'm okay with it? or should i continue to lay out the hints that slowly clear the fog of trouble.. what am i supposed to do? sit idle? or do the courageous thing

sometimes i wish that i was braver.. i wish i could speak my mind, and break out of my shell and talk to strangers.. if i could, i believe that i'd be able to go through life knowing what it's like to be confrontational...

my mind is now making me spit out thoughts.. regardless of whether its in the correct order.. does it really matter anymore? so what do i do? who do i ask? and why does my heart hurt so much...

lets all make cupcakes with our blood.

2007-08-05T04:32:34Z

No storm will last foreeevaa.

so. i write again. what's up with that.. today i went mallsurfing. jersey garden plazaaa, there was a power outage so no ac. and it was sad.. :[ then i went to wegmans and turned in an application.. jeez, i hope i get a call back with good newsss! uhmm.. i went to woodbridge yesterday and applied to borders.. :o booksss!

jewjewjewjewjewjewjewjewjewWEJ

umm.. what am i supposed to do? the pageant is in two days and my dance isn't ready!

samantha! stop having jewsex on the table.

idk.. i'm so awkward at 1230 at night..

mufassssaaa.. i shall devour your soul..

kaygottagoswej.

JEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEWJEW.

i'm kidding.. i love the jobs.. they got them awesome chyamahas..

:D it's so cool how the jews take the time to make keyboards and little hats.. :D! that's why they're so smart.

;] mysterious marxelle. :D

2007-07-29T04:21:06Z

Tonight I'm gonna cut loose.

;]! Hi. Tonight. I went bowling. And I got a 111. :o.

I was told by a certain filipino to write in my livejournal.. and since it was down the other day, i chose to write one today. ohmygod. my life is in shambles. i feel as though every step i take brings me closer to death. i walk everyday as if i have death tailgating me.

i'm just kidding. i just felt like being dramatic.

ohmygod. i want to kick galileo in the teeth. he is NOT the father of modern science. I AM! i have proof! i have pictures of me at the big bang! if i'm not the father of science than who the hell is?

and effing jon bon jovi. what the hell? that name PISSES ME OFF.

and freaking internet explorer. why? why do i want to explore the internet? HUH?

or My computer. what if i'm on a freaking mac? does it say my mac? HMM?? because everything at apple seems to always deal with i. ipod. imac. iamthedevil.

whatever.. why can't everyone just take a pill and sleep with the macs? HM?

go 49ers! you guys rock.

just kidding.. why can't i have photoshop? because it's o3295io32p dollars? i mean come on. if a price as a letter in it, it's gotta be too much..

candy is the soup for the soul.

i'm a soulmann.. A BUDADOE A BUDADOE...

sing it, i swear you'll know how it goes..

when i grow up i'm going to be the ultimate jew warrior..

DREIDLE OF DEATH!

how do you spell dreidle? like for real.. is it like chdreidel? and do you have to say it like you have chphlegm in your throat?

chigottagopod. :] bye..

=/ =] =[

2007-01-30T00:32:35Z

"Emotion is overrated..."

Is it weird...

That i don't know WHAT to feel? It sucks.. I don't know..

By the way. My new phone by tomorrow after school:

THE MOTOROLA KRZR.

Confirmation Letter.

2007-01-17T00:52:12Z

Dear Father Puleo,

My name is Marxelle Cortez, I am currently fourteen years old and I attend Carteret High School as a freshman. When I first began attending CCD, I was in the third grade and I started late, and at Holy Family they had me go back a year so I could learn some type of basis for the whole idea of CCD. I am now currently in the High School class at Saint Joseph’s and am to be confirmed some time this year with the name of Kenneth.

As I began my seventh grade year I came to an understanding of the whole idea of Confirmation. I was aware that it was necessary to complete Confirmation to continue on with the rest of the sacraments, also it was my parent’s wishes that I continue on with the sacraments.

In receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit, I’m not exactly sure of what I’d do to help myself as a Catholic teenager. I completely believe there is a God as well as the fact that I agree with the entire concept of the bible. However, I feel that I’m not exactly sure that I completely agree with everything the Catholic Church teaches. I accept the beliefs, as well as I understand that everything in the bible could be possible, however I believe it could be explained in different other ways than just Jesus did this and Jesus did that. So as for what I’d do with the gifts of the Holy Spirit, I’m not entirely sure.

However, even though I’m not exactly sure what I’d do after I’m confirmed, I am entirely sure that I am ready to receive the sacrament. In my mind, you don’t have to know everything about God and the bible to believe that God does exist. I don’t need a school to tell me that I cannot be confirmed because I don’t understand everything I’m taught in CCD. Isn’t it known that we are all just humans, and inferior to God? So why should I be held responsible for knowing everything when no one has all the answers. So, I do feel that I am ready whether or not I fully understand what I’m taught.

Kenneth is the Saint of the Shipwrecked. Obviously, there has to be a reason I picked this name, but to be completely honest, when I first picked the name I chose it because it was my friend’s name. It is mostly a superficial reason, but after doing all my research as well as my project I have more of an understanding and a deeper sentimental reason as to why I chose Kenneth. Kenneth was known for his powerful voice and he was able to have creatures and animals leave at the sound of his voice and such. However, that type of power wasn’t taken for granted, it was used with wisdom. It’s apparent to me that that is what I want. I want to be wise, and use my voice to speak out, but not to speak out to take control or overpower people. I just want what I have to say heard.

I know it doesn’t seem that I am a complete believer of the Catholic faith, but the fact of the matter is, as much as I believe other’s words, I must go with what I am taught and what I learn on my own. I can’t go off of something that was taken from past generations and such. That’s just who I am, and with God being who God is, I wouldn’t doubt for a second that that’s okay and acceptable. So, thank you very much for considering me as a recipient of the sacrament of Confirmation.

Sincerely,

Marxelle Cortez

Tomatoes and the Wii

2006-12-30T03:30:51Z

"Don't judge the tomato when you haven't tasted it's juice."

... New snack: TOMATO.

OHMYGOD! I LOVEEE TOMATOESS! xD I just discovered this like five seconds ago. I'm snacking on grape tomatoes now.. :] Is that healthy? Because if it is, i'm eating it regardless. Mm.. my god.. they're so tasty. And i eat them with salt. I think I'm going to eat healthier and exercise more.. Because I realized I'm fat, and can't keep up with people when they run. >_> I'm gonna be cool.. :D! Haha, New Year's Resolution: Stop Being Fat. ^_^ Hmm, maybe I can find a running buddy to go running with me like.. either weekly or daily. ^_^ WE CAN RUN THE AVE TOGETHER AND CHAT AND HAVE A GOOD TIME! And I guess I can just cut the fast food out. And stop eating at all those restaurants.. And now water is my best friend. ^^; I think I can do it. I think I'll track what I ate right here in my livejournal.. Everyday. Oh! And I'll get one of those step counter things..

The Wii is fun. :] I think it's entertaining. I enjoy it... I can't wait to get my second controller... ohhh man... this'll be so much fun.. ^_^ And then my friends can come over.. And play the Wii! XDDDDD! Ohmygod. And the Wii has WIFI! JESUS CHRIST! INTERNET ON MY TELEVISION! XD It's so cool... ^^ And in combination with aimonpsp.com, I can go on AIM on my TV. ^^ So If I'm typing slow, that's why.. xDD

Well, I'm going to go write my novel.. ^^; I really want to hit 50 pages, and make it worth something.. hmm. maybe it'll happen...

-Marxelle.

P.S. I ran out of tomatoes. ;-;

Merry Jesus' Birthday!

2006-12-26T03:06:15Z

"One more year gone..."

Something like "a one year gone" shouldn't be finished. This one year leaving makes me feel like i'm dying a little bit. And it's scaring me. My freshman year is going by so fast. I say that every year, but it's scary how much faster this school year is going by.

But that's not my main focus. It's Christmas. Finally... I feel complete.. My year is complete. FUCK new year's. This marks the moving on. And I don't mind at all. I'm happy. My year sucked... This journal is a reminder of that. But I met so many people this year.. And I got to know people better. it's amazing. It makes me grin, and it makes me smile..

people I'd like to thank:

Marites: I seriously think that she makes school worth going to. I mean, I can't believe I've been going on with my life without her. It's so chill that I've gotten so close with her.

Ken: Wowzers.. I cannot believe that this guy seriously makes me feel like my life doesn't suck. He's like the male Marites. :D!

Chris: Wow. I seriously, cannot thank this guy enough, it's his calmness and laid back personality that makes me smile. As well as the fact, that he is in Segundo Piso, and I really admire that. Haha, and also, he's my sponsor. :D!

Franny: Haha, I'm so glad I met her.. I mean COME ON! She is like the nicest person in Carteret! I am so glad that I know her, even if she did bleed in my shoe. :D Just kidding...

Kristina: Bwahaha, she's so funny. Like, I can't imagine what she would do if I didn't carry her books to her locker.

Bianca: Man, I can't believe that she sees me as Little Ian, but whatever.. I'm just glad that I was able to meet her.

Jojo: HAHA! Drum Major. :D! Smiles! Yay! Haha, I don't know.. Like.. She may not know it, but I think she's one of the coolest people in Carteret. Haha, I think she's funny, and I'm just glad I got the chance to meet her.

There's most likely more. But at this point.. I'm too tired to point them out! :] Sorry.

Mmhmm, my Christmas turned out fairly well. $300+ :] I'm content. Also I have a whole outfit picked out.. Wow. And I'm getting the WEEEEE on Wednesday. I'm sucha gamerfag. But I don't care.. I want a goddamn game where I get to punch in the air and hit people in a game. BWAHAHA! I CAN'T WAIT! *squeal* Oh and I'm getting my PSP fixed.. Not that I told anyone that I broke it until today. OH AND HERE'S MY NEW PHONE!! That I'm getting January 26, unless something better comes out.. :] The Verizon ENV! BWAHAH! BE ENVIOUS! XDD! I can't wait.. :D! It has internet.. Which I'm going to have to BEG my parents for, but I'll see what I can do. :D! Finally Texting with a keyboard. ^^ I can't wait...

Hmmph. For once, I enjoyed Christmas. Andif yours sucked.. Don't worry, your days will get better.

Merry Christmas,
Marxelle

I want December FIFTH back.

2006-12-11T23:50:12Z

"You can't please everyone all the time."

Freshman year you find yourself trying to adjust yourself to the new surroundings as well as a brand new environment. You have to find all the shortcuts, how to get to class on time, as well as budgeting how much time you devote into clubs and activities in school as well as out of school functions. It's not easy considering you have to find what's good for you and not necessarily for everyone else.

I'm so tired of how people decide that they can make my life so stressful. I'm in the band, so that's time-consuming all on it's own. With that, I have to juggle all my classes with homework and whatnot, and especially my honors english class where I get a shitload of work, not only that a geometry class that I am qualified to be in. I joined the musical production, because I enjoy it, however it is time consuming as well. With all that I have to deal with obligations, for, as a catholic, I am required to attend CCD, and since I started late, I'm in a High School Class which I have to attend every Tuesday from 6-7:30 add to that the fact that we have quizzes I have to study for every week so that I can receive the sacrament of Confirmation. Along with that, I am on the Free Expression Staff, which I completely because I feel it's a great thing to do, plus it's a great favor to my friends.

Obviously I'm a busy person, as well as the fact that I still have to maintain my social life. However, it's incredibly impossible when I have to deal with my friends and I fighting. As well as family problems in which I'm stuck in the middle of more arguments.

As it is, I don't sleep until 12:00 Midnight+. That's so I can make sure I had done everything, otherwise I leave it to do in the morning where I wake up at 5:30 AM every morning to make sure I do it. Meaning, I don't have much time to sleep.

Yesteray, I created a schedule for myself, so that I can be more organized...

I have REHEARSAL for the Holiday show EVERYDAY until 5/6PM.

MONDAY: Two Page Essay DUE +Rehearsal+Buy Clothes for school things.
TUESDAY: English Paper DUE + Science Test + CCD + A possible FreeExpression meeting. ALSO, the concert's WEDNESDAY, so I have to make sure I have the music all ready.
WEDNESDAY: Crossword Puzzle Due+ Rehearsal + Winter Concert
THURSDAY: Rehearsal + Must redo Step1 of my project due NEXT Thursday.
FRIDAY: English Paper Due + Redo Step2 of Project + Rehearsal.
SATURDAY: Rehearsal + Do Step3 of my project + Possible tutoring.
SUNDAY: Church + Do Step 4 of my project +Possible Tutoring.

... Then I have to deal with my family who are always arguing about small things which slightly bothers me, but I deal with it to the best of my ability.

Then my friends. I'm sorry if I suddenly lash out on you, however, constantly reminding me of the same thing every time you see me, it pisses me off, A LOT, I don't wanna deal with that shit. If you don't fucking trust me enough, then don't tell me... That may not be your intention, but with me so stressed out, I don't need the shit you people pull. I don't need more drama.. I don't get enough sleep, so I'm GOING to be a bitch. I'll put on a fake happy, but don't force me to do shit if I'm not up to it...

NOTE: I don't want to fight, and you know who you are. But you know, snapping back at me isn't going to help. Because then I'm stuck in a shitty mood, and I end up crying. I don't mean to make you feel bad, but I seriously don't need this right now. ESPECIALLY THIS WEEK AND NEXT WEEK.

And to top it off, I have a fucking cold...

never_half_full @ 2006-12-07T22:37:00

2006-12-08T03:37:16Z

"The colors. The colors are fading."

All life is dying,
their colors depleting.
The grayscale shades,
taking over completely.

Everything's covered,
in that blanket of white.
All of the colors,
losing their luminous light.

All plantlife around,
shivering cold.
As the leaves upon them,
slowly wither and brown.

Winter's arriving,
surely not stopping.
But their colors...
Their colors are fading.

... I'm going to sleep.

Juggling sucks...

2006-12-06T23:30:00Z

"Friendship is like the Titanic. One huge iceberg can sink the whole thing."

Could it be that I, Marxelle Cortez, am maturing? Could it be that I am actually beginning to learn the simple concepts of life that I was blinded by immaturity to the point where I couldn't see them? Am I really becoming the person that I never thought I could be?

I guess so... Highschool is the place where you find yourself. You walk through those doors with ambitions... And by the time you leave they're gone.. Maybe it's because you gave up hope..

I don't know why I'm seeing all of this.. It's like looking through those rose-colored glasses. You see what you want to see. Imagine they were tinted a different color. That color affecting what you're really seeing.. Maybe you're looking at what's really happening.. That my friend, is called reality. Welcome to it..

Now to my point... Highschool is the fine line between immaturity and maturity. You either decide to be that little kid for the rest of your life, or become the man or woman that you are supposed to be.. But why can't you be both? What's the problem with a little combination... I'd rather be a guy with morals and principles who isn't afraid to have fun than be an uptight stiff or a jobless goofball... I can't be one or the other.. Otherwise i fail.. Failure isn't an option.. It's merely a choice. Contradictory, no? Choice and option are the same thing. So am i confusing myself with false information? No, I'm simply opening another door into nonsense... Deadend... I'm right where I don't want to be... All because I decided one was better than the other.. So maybe I was wrong. It's not a choice or an option. It's a decision. You have two roads.. Uptight or Jobless Fun. Screw that. I just found a shortcut and it's both...

So was that confusing? Good! Because it's actually a segway into the next topic of friendship. You lose friends. You gain friends. You find love. You lose lust. It's like a scale... You have to find the balance. You have to find where you can juggle the ones you love, the ones you lust, and the ones you care for, along with working, and fun. It's life... What are you gonna do? You're gonna deal with it... If not, you're going to be stuck with that stupid look on your face when you're 82 wondering why the hell you chose the path you did...

I know it may be confusing now, because it isn't making complete sense to me.. But.. Is life supposed to? What's the point of life if everything was handed to us on a silver platter? Plus, it's about as possible as finding all of King Midas' copper. So, I'm not saying give up. I'm trying to say keep trying. Don't let the dead ends stop you. Find your shortcut. Because i guarantee with the right choices you'll find your way.

Bwahaha!

2006-12-06T02:03:22Z

"Family. Friends. Ramen Noodles. The keys to success."

:] Well... I can't believe that I'm actually happy. Happy? I don't know if It's true happiness, or if it's just false hope. ^^; I don't understand but I'm not going to question it. Explanation?

Family: Who else is going to be there with you forever? Sure you fight, but they will back you up forever.

Friends: Ah.. Friendship! ^_^ They are amazing. What are you going to do without friends? I don't understand how you people can actually not have friends (unless you're a certain D.H. or A.B.) :] Sorry I'm a name dropper.

Ramen Noodles: HAHAH! THEY'RE SO FREAKING GOOD! BWAHAH! I LOVE THEM! OH GOSH! I WOULD HAVE RAMEN EVERY DAY IF I COULD! ^_^

Bwahaha.. So I'm sooo stealing this from Chris who stole this from Franny.. But I want a Christmas List too.. Believe it or not.. I don't want anything...I don't know, I guess just knowing that everything feels kinda complete at the moment... I don't need worldly possessions... I kinda just need my friends... As well as the fact that.. I don't know.. I'd much rather spend my money buying for others rather than for myself. I feel bad though.. I didn't get to pick out gifts who I actually had to, but still chose them.. They were kinda just gifts that were nice, but weren't exactly my choice even if they were my friends.. which sucks.. But I'll personalize my cards.. ^^; And I have a nice little idea.. I'm gonna do something nice for some Marching Band kids.. :] Though I can't give a gift, I'll at least give them something that I hope they'll enjoy. .^^ I don't know.. Maybe I'm humble? BWAHAH! Bump that... haha.. i don't know.. Maybe it's just this joy of Christmas. ^_^

Does anyone even read my livejournal? Or is it just something there for me to type in. Is all of this irrelevant? or is it just here so that i can look at it... Hmm..

Taking a look back..

2006-11-27T00:08:07Z

The purpose of life is a life of purpose. - Robert Byrne

Now that I'm kinda just realizing, that I think I lost a best friend, I'm analyzing my eighth grade yearbook to see how many of these people I'm actually friends with.. I'm only going to do a simple synopsis on most of the people that I was close with last year. Here's a plus, I'm not going to mention any names, so i'll let you guess who the people are.

Marxelle,
OMG! I cannot believe that this year has gone so fast! It's amazing! Next year is high school! I hope we stay close friends throughout the summer and CHS! You are the coolest and bestest friend ever, and I love you for being you. I thank you so much for being there for me and helping me with my problems (one specifically). I love you, my bestest friend.

Well, the person above is a girl.. Basically, I believe we're not AS close however we are still friends.. I may not refer to her as much as I used to, but we still talk.

Marxelle,
     You are an awesome friend! Hope you have a great summer even though half of the summer will be spent at _ _ _ _ _ _'s!

We chat, again it's mostly the same as the entry before.. :[

Marxelle,
    In short, you are one of the best friends that I could have ever asked for in my life. We have had so much fun in school and out. You're smart, funny, creative, and crazy. I would have never been able to make it through CMS without you. Thanks xinfinity + 1 for being such a great friend.

I guess I'm close with her. We're okay, I don't get too mad at her, but I don't hangout with her out of school as much anymore.

Marxelle,
     Guess what?!? ITS PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. Haha, LOL!!! Good times. But wow, this year was just a piece of how next year is gonna be. Being in Mr. Salgado's class was pretty funny at times. But hey, we're still best friends Yo =)!! Can't wait til next year and to continue on through highschool.

Yeah, he's stupid.. haha. We are pretty close. We don't hang out as much or talk as much, but we do actually hang out occasionally, and we are best friends I guess. :D!

Marky!  [Oh god..]
     This year was great! We became so close. You're my best friend and singing partner =P. We will hang out over the summer! I effin love you!

And now people, the causeof this entry.. bleh, what can I say.. I feel that she lied to me and kind of let me down a lot.. Though, I don't put all the blame on her, I put most of it on her.. "That bitch called me clingy" 'nuff said.

Marxelle,
     damn yo- this year was so awesome. i love you so much dude. idk what i'd do if we weren't friends. thanks 4 everything.

This girl is one of my closest friends ever.. :DD! Man I love her, we are still superduper close! ^_^!

Marxelle,
     Wee been good friends since 6th grade. ur a really cool guy to be friends. we hung out alot. Thanks for being there for me and making me feel not smart and correcting my grammar. Cool kid.

Bleh.. We lost touch.. He switched schools, and i kinda feel like he left me behind.. but whatever, i guess it's cuz we don't talk anymore..

My birthday buddy,
     damn boo. finally were goin into highschool. I'm so happy. Can you say freshman leads in the play? =) ilu &hearts;

haha gotta love this girl.. she's funny and keeps me sane.. ^_^ that's just about enough to say..

So yeah.. I guess.. that's mostly the people i considered even remotely close to me.. and count how many people still count as close.. not many.. :[ But on the bright side.. that's mostly just freshman.. bleh.. that still sucks.. WHATEVER! People suck...

-Marxelle